I stopped writing once I started having trouble with my hands, from the chronic pain caused by Fibromyalgia. Truth be told, after some self-reflection, I have noticed a pattern, though. I have realized that part of me seems to back away from projects once I reach a certain level of success. Maybe that's why I have so many unfinished projects? There is always a legitimate stumbling block, where I can choose to stop what I'm doing, or I can power through. However, once I'm given an opportunity or excuse to back away, I have tended to bail in the past. I think it might be partly due to fear of failure.
You know, the old "Get out while the going is good".
I had a blog that was on the way to becoming successful, and when my chronic pain and fatigue started, I bailed. But I do think that there was more to it than that. Some of my posts were controversial, and I think that the outspoken nature of my blog was possibly what people liked about it, but once I started having some negative feedback, I checked out.
Maybe the problem was that I wasn't speaking up against things that I was necessarily passionate enough about, so to defend something like that, wasn't worth it for me.
Then I had a hand painted sign company. I closed shop just last year because of problems with my hands (which was a legitimate issue, but part of me wonders....). My sister and I then started a furniture make-over company, which we received hella-good feedback for. But she moved back to her hometown, and with my physical limitations I had trouble keeping up.
And now, sigh, I have a literal pile of unfinished furniture projects in my basement. And there are more stories of failed successes. So many more.
I don't think that the issue is lack of motivation, and it's not laziness, but instead, once I reach a point where I am moderately successful, I think, "ok, this is it, I can't top this". And I mentally move on.
Having a creative mind is a very good thing, and I love that I am a creative soul instead of an analytical one. My husband is analytical, and sometimes I wonder how he even functions living with me, when he needs the eggs in the carton to be zig zagged when they're removed, and he likes his garage neatly organized and uncluttered. If you could see the pile of clothing and mail that I'm sitting in front of at this moment while I choose to ignore it and write....well....
So anyways....
So how do you stop a pattern of foolishness like this?! That's the question.
It occurred to me, that the only things that I consider myself successful at, is marriage and parenting. Don't worry, I'm not looking for affirmations of other things I'm good at. And even if you think I'm good at something, for heaven's sake don't tell me that you think I'm good at it, I might quit it on you! hahaha just kidding...
Well....mostly...
So anyways.............
My marriage wasn't always the success that I feel it is now. Nor were my parenting skills. Don't get me wrong, I still make a lot of stupid mistakes. You're talking to the woman who recently gave her twelve year old a list of curse words he absolutely is NOT allowed to say, and a list of ones that I do not want to HEAR him say. #winning #momoftheyearawardgoesto
My husband and I had some rocky roads. Mostly me. I was the rocky road that he had to endure. He is a very patient man, and I challenged that at every point. I believe that I was almost daring him to walk away from me. I think at times, I thought that it would prove me right if he did. What a messed up way to live, though, isn't that?
One day, in 2013, a very good friend of mine said something that resonated deeply with me. He said that in order to have successful relationships in our lives, we need to have boundaries. We need to put fences around our relationships. He went on to explain the concept of putting up a fence to keep things out when you know that they aren't healthy for your relationship. This might be going to bed at the same time every night. It might mean terminating unhealthy chat conversations. For some, it may mean not being alone with someone of the opposite sex. I'm sure that everyone will have different boundaries, and it is important to find yours and realize that whatever popped into your mind when you were reading this, may be something that you should step back and consider. Is it healthy for my life? If it is not healthy for your life, and it is not bringing value to your life or your families life, then perhaps it needs to be re-evaluated.
And that is exactly what we did. We evaluated things and decided that there were changes that we could make that would make our lives healthier. That was four years ago, and I have not looked back. Of our almost 19 years together, the last four or so have been the most incredible, healthiest, and happiest of them for us. Which has translated into healthier relationships with our children as well.
So maybe I need to find the boundaries for this blog.
For example, currently I have pain in my hands from typing. So maybe shorter posts are going to be crucial for my success.
Another example, is going to be to think through my posts before I post them. You'll see a lot of different types of posts here. It might be funny re-posts such as videos or memes. It might be shopping items (Which I may get a small compensation for, but I will ONLY post if I know it's a good deal and something that I would or have bought myself) (remember people, I'm not working now, so I need to feed little mouths!) (Namely mine. Just kidding).
But on the topic of thinking through my posts, I need to consider if I feel passionately or strongly enough about something, and if I have done my research enough, before I post things that are controversial. So that if, and when, someone objects to them (because someone will, it's 2017 and someone is always offended by something), I need to be able to stand up and defend my writing. It's a responsibility for me to only write things that are not hurtful.
So I'll work on this. And you work on reading my posts. And we'll live happily ever after, and I promise I'll work really hard not to bail on you.
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